Growth Filters Your Circle. Let It.

Welcome to The Real Work, weekly insights for high-performers and entrepreneurs who've outgrown their current success and are ready to rebuild from their authentic foundation.

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And now, let's get started . . .

When I worked at Facebook, there were posters all over the wall that said "ruthless prioritization."

I used to think that only applied to projects and deadlines.

Turns out, it applies to people too.

As you grow, your circle shrinks. Not because you're becoming arrogant or elitist, but because your standards are evolving. And not everyone is willing to rise with you.

This isn't about being cold. It's about being clear.

The Real Cost of the Wrong Circle

We talk a lot about toxic relationships, but what about the merely comfortable ones?

Last week a buddy of mine from college left me a voice note. As I went to hit play, I realized I really didn't care. I just went back to exercising. I wanted to work out, not hear another "remember when" story that came to his mind after he dropped off the kids.

And yeah, I felt guilty about it. You might feel guilty too.

But sometimes cutting people out feels painful while maintaining connections that no longer serve you is harder. It's a slow leak of time, energy, and potential.

Growth has a way of filtering your circle naturally. The question is whether you'll let it, or fight it.

How I've Filtered Across Three Areas

Personally

I met Antonio Neves through LinkedIn. Another married guy around my age who's building something meaningful. We can talk about the real stuff. Marriage, fatherhood, the tension between ambition and presence. That kind of connection doesn't happen by accident. It happens when you're clear on what you need and intentional about who you let in.

Physically

I go to a CrossFit gym. People love to make fun of CrossFit, but they miss the point. It's not about the workouts. It's about the community. The accountability. Showing up at 6 AM is a lot easier when you know people are expecting you. My circle at the gym holds me to a physical standard I wouldn't maintain alone.

Professionally

A few years back, I commented on a LinkedIn post by a senior writer from Kit (formerly ConvertKit). Just a thoughtful comment. That turned into a conversation. That conversation led to them creating a case study about how I use their platform. Then they invited me to speak at Craft + Commerce in Boise. Then they produced a documentary about my life.

One connection. Compounding results.

But what made that possible was being clear on who I was becoming and showing up in spaces where the right people would notice.

The Connection Standard

You don't need a bigger network. You need a better one.

That means getting ruthless about your standards. Ask yourself:

Does this person challenge me to grow, or keep me comfortable?

Do I feel energized or drained after spending time with them?

Are they moving toward something, or standing still?

This isn't about finding people who are "useful." It's about surrounding yourself with people whose standards match yours. People who are doing the work. People who don't let you off the hook.

Your Turn. Audit Your Circle

Take five minutes and reflect.

Who in your current circle is actively helping you become the person you're working to be?

And who's keeping you tethered to a version of yourself you've outgrown?

Growth doesn't just change what you do. It changes who belongs.

Let it.

Keep growing,

Terry

Real Quick: The people who feel threatened by your growth were never really for you. The ones who celebrate it? Those are your people. Invest accordingly.

One More: Sometimes you know exactly what story you want to tell but don't have time to find the best hook. Or you're not a trained copywriter. That's where Stanley comes in. It's the AI tool that turns your thoughts and experiences into LinkedIn posts that actually get noticed. Click here to get 3 days free on me.

Last One: Feeling stuck and need help getting clear on your next move? I do 1:1 coaching calls where we cut through the noise and get you unstuck, whether that's around your business, career, or personal growth. Book a call here.​

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