How do you stop your work life from spilling over into your personal life?

A few months ago, I had an issue with a client I was working with. They were upset about how a project was being executed. I won’t get into the specifics, but there was a part of their deliverable that they wanted us to bypass but is regulated by the government. Umm… no thanks.

They were very angry and aggressive. They called us every name in the book. All we could tell them was to take their problem up with the regulators, because we couldn’t do anything about it.

I’m embarrassed to admit this next part, but a few days later, I found myself still so frustrated by this client’s actions. I was so annoyed. The negative thoughts piled up in my head and it was all I could focus on — even while I was making breakfast for my kids.

My son Trevor came up to me while I was in the kitchen and asked if he could get sprinkles on his pancakes. A simple, adorable request, right?

But I was so stuck on how annoyed I was by this client that I snapped back at my 4-year-old son:

“Sprinkles are for the weak!”

I immediately thought to myself, “Why am I saying this?”

Why was I still so angry at a guy who pissed me off the other week?

First, if my personal philosophy is to live my legacy — to be known as someone who helped a tremendous amount of people and was a patient and loving father — I was certainly not doing a good job of it.

More importantly, I realized I needed to do a much better job of monitoring my thoughts.

This is something that we could all be better at. In the times when we’re disappointed, let down, frustrated, or just tired or hungry, stop for just a moment and ask yourself one question:

Is this thought useful or necessary?

“Sprinkles are for the weak” is certainly neither useful nor necessary. In many cases, these negative thoughts that consume our mood are useless and unnecessary.

If I was actively monitoring my thoughts, I could’ve said to myself, “I’m still frustrated about this client that I dealt with two weeks ago, even though I’m never going to talk to him again. You know what? Let’s just make some good pancakes and give the kids some sprinkles.”

The other time to monitor your thoughts is when an opportunity arises. A new venture or client may come your way, and it might seem like the most exciting thing in the world — but if you accept without monitoring your thoughts, you might not see the hidden costs.

A local university could ask me to be a full-time professor in their business school. Sounds great, right? But with 4 kids at home and my time already tied up in my business and certain obligations, is the dollar amount worth my time commitment? Probably not. Being a professor would be great — but it wouldn’t be useful or necessary for how I want to grow.

This one small tweak in your thinking is enough to save you from making decisions you regret in all facets of life — even when you’re making pancakes for your kids.

All the best,
Terry Rice